TL Boehm - Writer

Written in my heart

After Y2k

Pre "Paradise" poetry and lyrics written in the dead zone between the 90's and 2006 when I started blogging and writing again in earnest...or at least in sites on the bandwidth.

Unhappy Again

I’m obsessed and I’m repressed
On my knees at your request
Every action second guessed
And you’re clueless to my pain
You wouldn’t know you couldn’t show
And love your heart won’t grow
I’m the tide you’re the undertow
You’re the ocean I’m one drop of rain

There you go stealin’ my thunder
And you stop the rain
And you blow out the fire
Make me unhappy again
 
Like a whirlwind trapped
In the corner of your room
Cannot rise to the sky
Ever circling along the ground
Spreading across the surface till I die
 
And here I am after the lightning
With my heart scorched and dry
Shivering in the darkness
Underneath your angry sky
 
Like an animal trapped
When the net comes down
I struggle with you in vain
Am I your trophy or your survival
At my expense you are sustained
 
TL Boehm
06/13/02  05/25/02  12/02  09/05/05 

Super Nova

Now is the crying hour
When dreams and truth collide
Spinning in my dark universe
Of words and tears already cried
I wanted to be a supernova
Or maybe just a light for you
Yet here I am all burned out
A spark too dark to view

Never center of any universe
Never a light in the dark
Just a shadow in your sights
Causing you to miss the mark
Wanted to be a supernova
But I never caused a spark
 
I look up to the stars in the skies
So far so cold from my teary eyes
What was I believing for
Half a lifetime wasted or more
Needed a fire to go supernova
And I had words and tears and nothing more

It’s a darkened lonely universe
Such a painful lesson to learn
Never had the power inside me
This black hole will never burn.
 
TL Boehm
5/05 

Pity Train

Take a trip on the pity train
Yeah I’m fallin’ down again
Useless ticket on a nowhere ride
All the damn rememberin
What was I thinking anyway
Looking backward never pays
Its been a lifetime, many years
So far from the darkness
And my childhood fears
 
So hindsight is 20/20
I know I was flying blind
Turning over tombstones
Why was I surprised to find
Should’ve left those words dead and buried
But I dug ‘em up anyway
So many ugly remains
Brought up to the light of day
 
Seems my life has been
Wrong turns and dead end roads
All my friends grown up and gone
And I’m just gettin’ old
If I had to do it over
Not that it matters in the end
I would never have wasted the trip
Bringing paper to a pen
 
TL Boehm
2/20/05

Some Words

Some words com from within my heart
How often can you write about the universe
The air, the sky
Got my feet planted on this barren earth
Not all God's children were built to fly

I wish I were smart enough
To get it like you do
But all I have is blind faith
That's all I got to get me through

Your words are so far above me
Speak a little louder I can't understand
Pardon me, I've never changed
The creature that I am

Coming up the stairs
Falling into thin air
I have forever known this to be true
There is so much more you are
Than the one
Looking out from inside you

You're up in skies of lavendar and green
Colors like I've never seen
Aware of your hand against the night
Shadow in the blue light
The real world pulls me under before I fight
Most days I just don't get it
Some of us are super novas
Some of us are candlelight

TL Boehm
3/02 10/27/02 11/15/02 3/22/04

Great Big Scary Monsters

All the ugly things
Come tumbling outta my head
All the scary monsters
I thought were all long dead

Great big scary monsters
Running through my brain
Beggin’ me to let them out
The noise drives me insane

If I dragged out all the things under my bed
If I crawled way up inside my head
If I resurrected things long dead
If I spoke the words I’ve never said

When all these words spill like bees
Swarming against the hive
Too many stings you’ll run away
Too many monsters you won’t survive

If I let the monsters out to play
If I gave them voice what would they say
If I fell apart on a beautiful day
Would you stop and stare or just look away

TL Boehm
2003

 

Guinevere

Pale petals swirling around her feet
A flutter of lace
Perfumed air
And the last light of the sun in the sky
Is the color of her hair

Guinevere
Forever I fear
You see love in her eyes
Fragile disguise
Fades like the warmth
From the place where she lies

And you sit at your desk
In some high rise
Cold glass pristine the wall between
Your logical soul and the past that cries
Can you hear
Guinevere
When you close your eyes
Dream of her under twilight skies

She washes over you so gently
Like the tide over the sand
Curves her body against you
She’s warm and soft against your hand
Serpentine she cleaves the waves
No white water in her wake
Silent though the undertow
Holds stronger than you can break

Can you hear
Guinevere
Fading cries in graying skies
As she slips away like tears from your eyes

TL Boehm
Falling cherry blossoms at the Olive Garden Restaurant parking lot
2/10 4/15 5/22/02 

Cats Don't Need You

Cats don’t need you baby
Yet you cater to her every whim
And I’m that barking dog in your backyard
Who’d forever love you if you’d let me in

Guess it stands to reason
My life is incomplete
The stuff of this world that’s pleasin’
Just reminds me of my defeat
Puppy love not enough for me
What a wasted destiny

Starvin’ for affection
Can’t swallow what’s on my plate
While you purr at your reflection
I’m barking at the gate
While you’re getting scratched for free
Who’ll toss a bone to me

What I love ran away
What I love well they die
Nothing is forever
Except my ability to cry
I get the message, hey life ain’t fair
Just wish I didn’t care

TL Boehm
1/3,5/01

Anger at Sasha (our cat) for killing Chien Po (a betta) , and Buddy (our dog)  has to sleep in the cold… 

Get In To Me - (content warning)

I’m the only one inside my head
With plenty of room to spare
A psycho wonderland for you
Underneath my graying hair
One ticket on the crazy train
Is yours for free
Get in to me

He is so freakin logical
Two sides to everything
Black and white alone at night
Sex is the only thing
My soul’s a shotgun shell
His bullet the pain that stings

Hit me again I’m still standin’
Too damn stupid to fall that’s true
Why’d God make such a loser
Guess He needed someone dumber than you
Tell me am I up down or sideways
Cause I ain’t got a clue

My life sucks but I can fake it
Get stoned to block the pain
I got screwed but I can take it
And get back up again
Here’s my heart go ahead and break it
I’m on fire so let it rain

TL Boehm
6/2000
Thanks Kevin Maguire for the line – Hit me again I’m still standin’

 

Will the Real Man please stand up

Will the Real Man Please Stand Up

Will the real man please
Stand up I want to see
More than the same old
Anger in your eyes
If you could show kindness
Compassion or love
You cold take the whole
Damned world by surprise

So you got cruise elevation baby
But your air is too damn thin
You belong down here with the rat race baby
Unlike your fantasies you don’t always win
And the saga inside your tiny brain
Where the hero is always you
Is boring beyond belief to me
We both know none of it is true

Tell me I’m full of it my friend
You’d know the warning signs
You wrote the book on pulling the wool
Over unsuspecting eyes
But when you’re tired of smartassing
And you want shelter from the storm
Even your bad attitude
Won’t get you enough to keep you warm
Either stand up and be a man
Or sit down and shut up again

TL Boehm
6/96 4/17/00
For Justin
Listening to Justin disparage Gina and Julie